Lamar Jackson swears he didn’t have to poop during Monday Night Football

The second Lamar Jackson starting making his jog to the locker room against the Browns jokes exploded on Twitter. The Ravens told the media that he had cramps. But no one was convinced. We all knew what was going down. Especially when this was Lamar’s jog to the locker room.

That is the trot of a man that is about to crap his pants. The only cramp Lamar Jackson had in that run was in his asscheeks from holding them together so tight. And that bathroom trip must have been a doozy cause Lamar almost missed two whole drives. The Ravens had to put in Trace McSorley in at quarterback while Lamar was on the can. Eventually Lamar returned to the game. Not without a little coaxing.

And on his first pass back from destroying a locker room bathroom Lamar Jackson threw a 44 yard touchdown to put the Ravens in the lead. It was the scene out of a movie. The starting quarterback has to the leave the game. Backup quarterback comes in and sucks. Then the backup gets hurt leaving the team without a quarterback. But wait. Who’s that? Is that Lamar Jackson coming back out of the tunnel? MAH GOD IT IS!

Lamar came trotting out of that tunnel feeling five pounds lighter and looked a whole lot more comfortable out there during Monday Night Football. He was Stone Cold Steve Austin coming in at the last second to steal victory from the jaws of defeat. An absolutely electric game. Obviously Lamar Jackson doesn’t want the whole world knowing he had to drop a deuce mid game. So he’s sticking with the story that he had cramps.

But we all know what was going on with Lamar Jackson. He had to poop. No shame in it. We all poop. And since Lamar Jackson and the Ravens still won no harm no foul in missing a drive or two to drop a number two. Lamar was able to take care of the Browns on and off the field. Even though he was really taking care of cramps in that locker room. Allegedly.

What do you think?

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